#anyway these are The Most Importantest

[zhouxiangs]

bias check ✨

wasn't tagged or anything but i saw @bunnakit and @negrowhat do this and i wanted to join in 🥰

— nct, kim doyoung

but i also have an extremely soft spot for the bread boy himself jeong jaehyun so he's making the list

— aespa, kim minjeong aka winter

— snsd, kim taeyeon

and of course kim hyoyeon

— kara, hur youngji

[zukkaoru]

god guys i just love kenji so much he is SUCH a character ahhhhhh

[drhillmoel]

Finally finished a good ref of my funny sona oc whatever guy!!

[doctorguilty]

At Walmart I approached an employee who was stocking candy by the register to ask a question and she got really nervous because she didn't speak any English at all just Spanish so I was wracking my brain for the words on the spot I was looking for in Spanish which was fine we were kinda just laughing at the language barrier happening and then this old guy customer comes up yelling at the employee straight up about how he wants the changing room but the other employees he asked don't have the key and he's so pissed off and the employee I'm standing next to obviously doesn't know what he's saying just that he's yelling about something and I was trying to like translate for her except he wouldn't shut up and I couldn't concentrate so I just turned to him and snapped like "she can't help you man and neither can I, go to the customer service desk it's literally right over there" and he like rolled his eyes all pissed off but whatever I'm glad tbh I was there to like buffer that because he would have defs just continued being aggro at that poor girl, kinda wish that could be my actual job like I want to be employed to just be dressed like a regular customer and whenever someone starts being rude to the employees I can be like fuck off man and nobody gets in trouble cause what are they gonna do. Complain about some random guy shopping? You are nothing to me. Also that was extra rude of that guy anyway because I was literally talking to that employee like her attention was rightfully on me and he just like comes up straight up interrupting ME like oh sorry didn't know the most importantest douchebag in the universe was visiting our humble Walmart supercenter today, after you my fucking liege

[adelaidedrubman]

2, 11, 27, 29, and 46 for johnjessie?

THANK YOU VERBS these were very fun to do for the normcore couple!!

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late? 

john wakes up earliest, consistently. unless it’s a day jessie plans to go fishing, then — just kidding john wakes up first then too, but it’s from jessie’s 4 AM alarm, as she proceeds to sleep through it and the next ten that follow it, and any effort of his to wake her. 

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way? 

john called jessie “little red” exactly once before about-facing and radioing her the same day “OMG just kidding you’re actually the biggest, strongest person in the entire world haha wouldn’t it be funny if you crushed me with your giant muscles 🥺” and never really attempting a pet name again from that point. also driven by the setting in of his obsessive focus on simply learning her first name at all, and while what he does finally learn is technically a nickname he is also so dedicated to flaunting it as the world’s best prize to himself that he doesn’t bother to dress it up with any additional sweet talk. just jessie. that’s so incredible. (i guess spoilery and of note is that he will continue to call her “jessie” even after he learns her full name, because he knows she prefers it. something something symbolism). the most he ever does is tack on the occasional “jessie, dear” or “my jessie.”

jestiny throws out a stray “baby” or few in the heat of the moment, which is of course so taunting and belittling and not at all meant to make him feel like her most special baby boy. don’t get it twisted he would be so dumb to think that. other than that, it’s just “john” or “that fucking guy”

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally? 

managing to be comfortably non-verbal at all is an unprecedented miracle and massive “i love you” in and of itself with them. 

but also jessie will pause the rough handling to just look at him and give stray, unusually tender and doting touches — forehead kisses, tracing his freckles with her fingers, etc. john tends to full body cling, absentmindedly tangle fingers in her hair, touch her dimples when they’re visible. also mutual just constantly reaching for each other and finding ways to be in each other’s space. and these wild sons of guns do be holding hands. 

29. Describe their nighttime routine. 

fall asleep in THE DIRT. john snores so loud jessie thinks he’s a sleep paralysis demon for a sec then goes back to sleep. yeah they do this every night why not 

(real nighttime routine varies a bit by exact living circumstances, but usually consistents of jessie busying herself with something well into the night, john pestering her to come to bed already. then finally initiating sex in an effort to get her to the bedroom, never actually ends up in the bedroom because she is So Spiteful and Will Not Be Manipulated and he is too dumb and horny to have any follow through on his own plan. they go to bed anyways after but she has to Prove A Point first. yeah they do this every night) 

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

they are both super fun super casual people known for being chill, laid-back, and having measured emotional reactions and attachments. which for her part jessie is actually deluded enough to believe about herself, she swears anything between them was a momentary lapse in judgment that means nothing. they just did Hand Stuff (she has not gone ten minutes without thinking about him) it was basically Church Camp Shit (she is actively hallucinating him as a coping mechanism to make her other hallucinations less stressful). 

john for his part is less in denial about that piece, while he occasionally downplays or obfuscates the motivations behind his obsession he has never once denied that she is the world’s specialest most importantest girl. “his world [had] been shaken to its foundations, cleaved in twain and hollowed out and rebuilt from its core to be filled with her” - guy who got jerked off and learned a woman’s first name. he thinks they’re pretty serious, yeah. 

[ccborrega]

Like it's one thing that you like his dynamic with X or Y best and that's why it's your couple or even if you just think it'd be cool if he loved them even if there wasn't that much screentime but so many of the arguments are about 'Who is the most specialest most importantest girlest in his life...est' in a situation where it's COMPLETELY BONKERS to actually be able to tell this. Guy is 17 ish and traumatized as fuck and it's not that traumatized people can't love, it's more like, traumatized people tend to react in ways you wouldn't expect, PARTICULARLY DURING STRESFULL SITUATIONS, WHICH THE MAJORITY OF THE GAME IS, so there are inferences on him caring more about one or the other in parameters that are just fucking insane to consider even remotely acceptable as proof, like deadass him showing care for either of them is used as ULTIMATE PROOF and that reasoning is unwell.

Anyway, TP Link drinks his respecting women juice every damn day since he was a baby, and that's facts, it has absolutely nothing to do with who he wants to smooch.

It just dawned on me that the reason Twilight Princess had (And keeps having in some spaces) so much ship war drama on which female character Link should be with is because he is surrounded by women who are central to his story and people are unable to understand that this is a feature and not a bug.

[rivaiin]

my boy is coming Back !!!

[badsithnocookie]

anyway yeah i finished onslaught and its cutscene epilogues on danil and i love my wife. elara feeling a bit lost among all the change that’s been going on (not to mention no longer really doing what she loves, an what she signed on for) is #relatable, and it didn’t quite feel like she was being Flanderised when it came to her love of forms.

i’ve only had this dumb tomato and his space medic wife for five days but if anything happened to them etc etc

i still feel like. there’s this huge disconnect between ‘bioware want to feed into this power fantasy by making the player character the most important person in the galaxy/their faction’ an ‘bioware rpg quests mostly boil down to Kill Ten Space Rats but why is The Most Importantest Person Ever the only person who can murderise the astro vermin’

but like. that’s a larger issue with the game and indeed bioware’s writing in general, so like.

[nothingeverlost]

Haha yep, it is I! Been lost to other fandoms but the Rumbelle/Robert Carlyle fandom will always have my heart. :D It can be anything honestly. If you want to do the Mending verse that's fine. :) How about something happy? A major turning point in their relationship or in his recovery?

There’s something amazing about Bobby that I think will always keep this fandom central.

Alright, darling, this is about a year or two later than anything I’ve written in this verse.

_______

Forty-five minutes into the tux fitting and Ben was losing his patience.  It was boring, and he didn’t see how one suit was different than any other.  Fortunately his turn was over but Graham was on his two hundredth different shirt at least.  

“Isn’t it time for dinner yet?”  He’d been promised burgers and milkshakes after the fitting.  He hadn’t known it was going to be way worse than back to school shopping.

“I’m sure he’s close to deciding.  There can’t be that many more things to try on.”  Carl sat next to him, his suit already chosen as well.  “At least I hope.”

“They’re all black of grey.  What’s the difference?”  Graham’s leather jacket was way cooler than the stupid suits anyway.  Ben didn’t understand the purpose of dressing up; when he was a grown up and no one could boss him around he wasn’t going to dress up ever.  Suits were weird.

“You’re asking the wrong man, lad.”  In front of the mirror Graham took off another jacket.  Not the right one either, apparently.

“You know my mom’s probably going to want you to wear one of those when you get married.  If you just married her now we could wear the same suits and we wouldn’t have to do this again.”  It seemed like a good idea to him.  PLus he’d been little when he’d met Carl and now he was seven and that was a really long time.  They had to get married sometime, didn’t they?  “Maybe you could even get married the same day and then mom would only make me wear a tie one time.”

“What?”  From the look Carl was giving him he didn’t seem to understand.  Maybe Carl liked ties; he wore them sometimes when mom wore a dress that was fancy and they went out for dinner.  Or maybe that wasn’t the part that was confusing him.

“You want to marry my mom, don’t you?”  His friend Sean’s mom had gotten married during the summer.  Sean wasn’t sure he liked having a new dad but Ben thought it would be pretty cool if Carl lived with them all the time and not just once in a while had sleepovers.  “Graham’s moving out when he gets married.  You could have his room.”

“Being married isn’t like being roommates, Ben.”  Carl looked down at his lap for a moment before speaking.  “It means something very special, about loving someone and wanting to be with them for all of your life.  Taking care of them and...”

“You took care of mom when she was sick and had to miss work.  You didn’t even go to school, remember?  And you and mom say ‘I love you’ sometimes; like when one of you has to go somewhere or when you put your arm around her.  You kiss and everything.”  Ben still didn’t understand that one.  He never wanted to kiss someone one the lips but mom and Carl did it, and Graham did too with Doctor Humbert.

“I love your mom a lot, Ben.  So much that getting married has to be something that I know will make her happier than anything else.  Like Graham is happy.”  Carl nodded towards the dressing area, where Graham had taken a break and was talking on the phone.  They could both tell from the laughter who was on the other end.

“She smiles when you ask if you can come over or when she’s meeting you somewhere.  And she says you’re the most importantest person besides me and Graham in the whole world.  And…”  Ben bit his lip.  Maybe Carl didn’t want to marry his mom.  

“And?”  Carl waited for a moment but Ben was suddenly unsure.  “Ben, my boy, you know you can tell me anything.  Just like you can tell your mom anything, or Graham.”

“Anything?”  Carl listened to him all the time, about his day at school and the fish he’d seen at the aquarium and how he was going to play football for a job when he grew up.  But he’d never said these words out loud before.

“Anything, Ben.  It can be a secret just between us if that makes it easier to say.”

“I…” Ben looked over at Graham, taking off another shirt.  This time, though, he pulled on the jersey he’d worn into the shop.  Maybe it was finally time to go.  “I thought maybe if you married my mom you could marry me too, and be my dad.  I never had one before.  We could go camping and you could tell me stories on all the nights.  I’ll wash the dishes after dinner and I won’t leave my shoes in the hall and I won’t even say ‘ew’ when you and mom kiss.”

“Oh Ben.”  One minute he was sitting in his chair and the next he was on Carl’s lap, the metal of Carl’s leg sharp against the back of his thigh but the rest of him warm.  “You don’t have to promise anything, lad.  You are enough, just as you are.  If your mom and I get married I will be proud to call you son.  And if we never do I would still be proud of you.”

“You know Belle’s a lot more likely to say yes if you ask her the question, boy-o.”  While both of them had been distracted Graham had joined them.  He ruffled Ben’s hair affectionately and grinned at them both.  “Maybe sometime this decade?  At least before Ben graduates Uni.”

“Just because you’re getting married, Hughes, doesn’t make it the right thing for everybody.”  Carl still held Ben on his lap.  Even his weak attempt at a glare made Graham grin.

“We’re not talking about everybody.  We’re talking about you and Belle and the fact that you’ve been living in each other’s pockets for more than two years after dancing around each other for the two years before that.  A seven year old has more sense then the two of you.  Right Ben?”

“Can we go get milkshakes now?”  Ben wasn’t sure if he was more confused or feeling better.  Or both.  But what he did know was that he was hungry.  They could figure out the rest later.

“Yeah, we can go get milkshakes.”  Without letting go of Ben Carl stood up, slinging the boy over his shoulder, making him laugh.  “If you’re ready, Graham, I believe there was a promise of burgers and chips for dinner.”

“And milkshakes!” Ben added gleefully.

“Not the only promise we’ll be talking about,” Graham said as he followed them out the door. 

[annakie]

Thoughts on a DW Rewatch & Mass Effect replay.

So I’m in the Eleven / Clara half-season now.

Also I’m now replaying Andromeda.  I have thoughts, about both.  I’ll start with Doctor Who then label it when I get to Mass Effect stuff.

Oh my God this gets long and rambly.  Apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

So, season 702... I’m ready for it to be over.  I miss the Ponds.  I felt like most of the first half of this season was pretty great, honestly.  I’d forgotten how fun some of those episodes were, I think at the time we were anticipating a new companion so heavily that it was harder to appreciate those episodes?  I feel like there was a lot of criticism levied towards them that now I felt like was a bit too much.  The western episode was kinda meh but still not bad.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about these Clara / Eleven episodes that I’m still not connecting with but I’m in the middle of the Crimson Horror episode (which is a Vastra/Jenny/Strax heavy episode and enjoying it more than anything else so far this half-season.  

*edit later* NOPE NOPE NOPE I��D FORGOTTEN HOW THE DOCTOR FORCES A KISS ON JENNY.  GROSS.  SUPER GROSS.  SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN, A LESBIAN AND DID NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS.  BAD DOCTOR, BAD.

Honestly even with some excellent guest start acting, the Russian Submarine episode was STILL a slog and the ghosts in the 1950′s episode no better.  Like they still weren’t ridiculous and unwatchable but... just didn’t feel fun or interesting at all?  The Journey to the Center of the TARDIS episode was decent, and I felt like that wasn’t nearly as cool as it should have been..

I remember reading a criticism of these episodes early on where they said that the biggest fault is that they failed to give Clara any real characterization or solid personality other than “girl the Doctor is obsessed with”.  She’s SUPER IMPORTANT but not only do we not know why at this point but it really doesn’t feel... earned?  I don’t recall it ever feeling earned that Clara was supposedly always so important?  “The most importantest companion EVAR!”  

And as someone who stanned the hell out of a character who was hated in the fandom for “replacing” a previous companion I’m checking myself to make sure it’s still not because I Miss the Ponds.  Like, I don’t HATE Clara, I just, at least at this point in the rewatch, can’t find any reason to really LOVE her?  She’s there, she’s fine, Jenna-Louise Coleman is doing a great job with what they’re giving to her but... I don’t know.  It all feels... off.

I had forgotten all about the “the Doctor rides a motorcycle up the side of a skyscraper” moment and something hit me in that moment that made me remember that wow people hated that moment.  It felt really... shark-jumpy somehow.  

I love Eleven, but this half-season isn’t connecting with me, AT ALL. It feels like the writers just went and dug through a bunch of rejected script ideas, polished them up and were likle “let’s just do this until Matt Smith is gone.”  I’m anxious to get to Twelve.

Mass Effect Stuff

OK TECHNICALLY I haven’t finished ME3.  I still need to do the party and the goodbye scene, (Citadel Epiloge Mod installed) but I’ve gotten all the Stuff and done all the missions in the arena.  I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, so I started Andromeda a bit early.

-----------------

OK look I had a point I wanted to make and never quite got where I wanted to go with it right here.  I’m too tired of trying to fix it, so this stands as written.

This playthrough had me ruminating a lot on Kaidan and Garrus.  I really love both of those characters, though in my heart I’ll always primarily love Kaidan, I’ve done the Garrus romance and wouldn’t mind playing that character again to see the romance one more time.  In ME1, I bring Kaidan everywhere all the time, and pick which other companion I bring to the story-based missions based on what I know is gonna happen like I’m sure most people do.  Wrex for Therum, Tali for Feros (though I REALLY wish you could switch before going to see the Thorian), Liara for Noveria, Ashley on Virmire, Garrus for Ilos/Endgame.  I rotate through all five for sidemissions.  

In ME2, Garrus is my always-bring companion, with Garrus + Miranda being my favorite team.  Except after the Omega relay, where characters with Throw really shine with all those husks running at us, Jack holds the bubble, and Miranda and Thane, who both have Warp to help take down the Reaper Baby, are the preferred team.  Also so Miranda can tell TIM to fuck off.

Then in ME3, once the game opens up, Garrus is back on the perma-team, with a preference towards bringing Liara along... until we get Kaidan back.  And then I realized I didn’t bring him to a single thing except a side mission or two until Earth.  Mostly, this is because I’m following the Kaidan Banter guide and it turns out Garrus is a real banter hog for most of the missions.  At leat he’s not James, who I literally never use unless I’m going on an N7 mission and feel bad that I haven’t taken him off the Normandy in awhile.  I mean, even Javik gets more play.  Also EDI doesnt leave the Normandy til near the end when all of a sudden she gets real important.  

But Garrus is always on the team for Priority Earth.  And that always felt like the way the main game should end, with your two favorites.  (Also what kind of monster wouldn’t bring Wrex to the combat-centric areas of Citadel DLC?  I keep thinking I should have runs where I bring other people but... Wrex is my other fave and we don’t get him with us AT ALL since ME1.)  

I love Garrus, so much.  And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective... overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters.  The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile.  But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of DW, or actually playing the games, those characters are awesome.  

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines.  Going back through my blog reminded me that even the TAH fandom had some of this, with a small percentage of fans being real dicks to two prominent female characters in favor of their favorite ship, which soured even that just a tiny bit.  

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this.  It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing.  I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall.  Maybe yelling a lot about Martha Jones did change some people’s minds.  It still isn’t that good of a look now, even knowing that in general I was pretty polite and logical about it.  I might respond to an odd comment now and again in some favorite character tags, but in general, turns out that kind of fight just isn’t worth it.

And those fights seem so stupid in the light of everything else happening in the world today.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.  

-----------------------

I also wanted to say, and I know I said it in a few other posts about this ME3 playthrough, but seriously I cannot believe how much ME3 is a changed game because of the modders.  I cannot imagine ever playing ME3 again without these mods.  There were so many small things that I kept thinking I should take note of to talk about and I’m sure I forgot 90% of them, but there’s things like... adding in mentions of the Andromeda Initiative, closing a few plotholes, mentioning Emily Wong, adding in many more Spectre console options which end up having their own plotlines, adding in an entire plotline about the VI civilization that had previously only been talked about in like, social media or Cerberus News Network posts, having the Normandy be so much more populated, seeing so many more other species on the Citadel with more variety in clothing for those species that have clothing / could have more variety, way more female Turians.... every time I play ME3 the game is more and more like the game we wanted when it came out.  

I am kind of itching to go back and replay it even now.

But hey, instead, its time to talk about Andromeda.

-------------------------

So first of all, yes, mods for Andromeda.  A few appearance mods, a lot of convenience mods.  

After having recently played DA:I and I think Andromeda and DA:I are a lot more similar than Andromeda and the previous trilogy, I had decided it was time to cut down on the stupid stuff Andromeda does, like “Oh, you want minerals?  Spend 10 minutes in each mining zone finding the PERFECT place to gather materials or you’re fucked”  No, thanks.  I’ll mine but give me that “one probe placed anywhere and you’re done” mod.  

Make the modifications and crafting materials I use actually matter. 2% damage increase is nothing.  Make my squadmates not suck because I remember doing 90% of the work myself before and that got exhausting with the number of spawns.  

I tried to not go overboard so things feel like cheating, but there’s enough out there to just get rid of the stupid stuff, and it’s nice.  And works together a lot easier than the DA:I mods did.

One thing I did do was install the Multiple Romance Mod.  I enjoyed it in DA:I, even though ultimately I only did 2 full romances.  I am **NOT** romancing Gil or Cora with the mod, I just wanted to experience all the content available for female Ryders at once, since I’m not going to have the energy to replay this 100+ hour game enough times to see every romance on its own.  So I am poly-romancing Liam, Jaal, Vetra, Suvi, Peebee, Keri, and if it lets me, Reyes when it’s time.  

I’ve only gotten all the way through Andromeda once (where I romanced Liam)  My second playthrough was right after my first and stalled out about halfway through (was romancing Jaal.)  It was one of those “I’m totally gonna get back to this! (She didn’t.)” things.  I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the Liam romance and was enjoying the Jaal romance, I’d done a fling with Reyes but not the full romance my first time through and the fling with PeeBee on my second.  Reyes was probably my favorite out of all of them.  So this time I decided.. let’s see which I love the most, all at once.  I don’t know if I’ll do this in the future, but this game is too long to not see all the content I wanna see, TBH.  

And you know, I still really do like Andromeda.  It’s a GOOD game.  And I’m forever going to be mad that we’re not going to see how this story ends.  This story deserved to finish being told.  Like, there are a lot of very legit criticisms about Andromeda, but it didn’t deserve the harshness it got.  And the worst thing about it, and DA:I both is that... there’s just a little TOO MUCH of it.  100 hours is an amazing amount of game but... it’s also just too much.  For now I’m not trying to 100% this playthrough.  My plan is on each planet to get the planet to 100%, take out the Kett or whatever major base, the Remnant Architect, and yeah probably clear out the sidequests that show up on the map, but fuck quests that are like “visit random Kett camps until you find the right datapads that don’t show up on the map!” or “scan random blobs in the forest that don’t show up on the map!”  

So like, do the content, not the filler.  

I still hate the vaults.  The first one is cool.  The rest are tedious.  But they’re mandatory.

I love everyone on this spaceship though.  They did the Tempest stuff SO WELL.  All the companions I think are... good?  There’s no one I don’t like, even the non-squadmate shipmates ship have so much interaction and so much to do/say.  It’s not like “a bunch of randos and Joker, with occasional appearances by Chakwas and the Engineers”  There’s no randos, it’s just a few people you have real interactions with, and its great.

The lack of enough beds in the bedroom will never not annoy me.  There’s 4 beds for... Lexi, Liam, Cora, Suvi, Kallo, Vetra and Gil?  Even if Liam slept on his couch, and Vetra put a bed in her supply room... still doesn’t add up.  What, do Salarains not sleep or something?  Does Lexi sleep in a medical bed?!?  Peebee sleeps in the escape pod, Jaal brings a bed with him, and Drack’s like “Eh I’ll just sleep in the kitchen”.  WHAT?  THE KITCHEN?

I mean sure there weren’t enough beds, even with the sleeper pods, on the Normandy either, but somehow that was less disturbing.  

Also, I know you’re supposed to HATE Director Tann but I love Kumail Nanjiani so I find it hard to be a total dick to him, even if he usually deserves it.  If he wasn’t an anti-Krogan racist I think it’d be easier to like him.  He was thrown into a pretty shitty situation and... did actually hold things together for some time.  He’s not doing anything out of malice.  He’s a dick, but also doing what he needs to do to keep the Initiatiave going.  Oh, except for being a anti-krogan racist.  (Honestly, I also think  “until he turned Cerberus Udina was just doing his job pretty well” too, so...)

Taking some screenshots as I go.  I mostly just take screenshots for me now.  I have a few thousands screenshots from a dozen or more games rotating through my desktop background, and I keep adding to it, and love it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten Eos, Voeld and Havral to 100%.  Time to go save the Moeshe.  I’m having fun.  

*edit from later* I’d forgotten that... idk if the dialog they recorded for Jaal was the first thing they recorded for him or they used a different VA or what but on the Save the Moshe mission his voice is VERY DIFFERENT and oh man, that is still bad.

Might take a break for when Onslaught comes out for SWTOR, though.  I haven’t really played SWTOR in months. Oops.

[nostalgia-tblr]

Seven and Ace FTW

For all that I disdain competitive companion games, we Ace fans do often think of her as being the most importantest/bestest. Because there are any number of love interest companions, but there’s only one apprentice.

One thing I like about Seven’n’Ace is what it means in the context of the “darker” Doctor stuff. It’s like Seven has realised that one day he’ll die (he’s the mid-point of that original regeneration cycle) and he’s setting out to off the Daleks and the Cybermen and so on once and for all. No more second (third, fourth...) chances. He’s ruthless because he thinks that once he’s gone the universe loses a defender, and while they didn’t run with Kevin Clarke’s weird “the Doctor is literally God” idea you can still get a lot from him telling the Nemesis statue that “things are still imperfect.” He’s trying to get everything fixed while he still can. 

And part of that is Ace. Because the Doctor isn’t going to leave us helpless, he’s going to train up a replacement to look after us when he’s gone. Ace is his daughter and his protegee, the one to take over the family business. He sees himself in her and tries not to remove her anger and her violence but to mould them so that they can do good. It’s pointed out a lot that Four despises Leela’s violence while Seven uses Ace’s explosive skills, but they take place in completely different contexts (and there’s A LOT to say about Leela and Ace and the almost no overlap in their use of violence and their general attitudes to it). As we saw with Clara Oswald, being the Doctor can easily get you killed, and he doesn’t want Ace to get taken out as soon as she’s on her own. So he teaches her how to use force and when it’s appropriate and helpful. (”Save it, Ace, save it...”) 

Ace lacks caring parents, and has particular Issues with her mother (I’ve always assumed an absentee father just because she doesn’t mention him on his own), and the Doctor? Maternal af. There’s no Classic Paternal Detatchment with him, he doesn’t hold back praise until she’s “earned” it. He loves Ace and it’s obvious, and that’s why she loves him too. They’re two of a kind against a universe full of terrible things.  

But anyway as I was saying, Ace is the Doctor’s only attempt to replace himself in that way. Other companions “become the Doctor” under his influence, but it’s never so careful and calculated. It’s not lacking in dark edges, because while he can justify forcing Ace to confront her fears because she needs to be able to defeat Fenric, he’s still manipulating her and making her get into situations she’d rather avoid. And then, after Fenric, he takes her home again. Just to check, just to prove that she can’t go back to what she was before they met. He takes her back to Perivale and she puts on his hat, ready to go on and take his place. 

Lots of people get to be the Doctor, but Ace is the only time the Doctor did it on purpose. 

[plenilune]

so because I’ve been mulling over the entire concept of love languages for a few days (retail will do this to your brain: PICK A TOPIC, SUCK ON IT FOR A WHILE LIKE A WERTHER’S) I’ve been thinking a lot about Why I Could Never Figure Out Which One Mine Was -- and look, I grew up in evangelical culture, my parents owned the book, I was fussing over this as a kid since before it was a Thing -- and branching off from that So What Is The Common Thread In The Things That Make Me Feel Loved Specifically. 

because like, as a kid I’d go through the list and go, okay, I like words of affirmation. that’s real important to me. but I also like gifts. not like, fancy-ass presents, but little talismans and evidence that people wanted to make me feel happy and cared for. and I desperately want people to spend time with me. and when people do things for me (~acts of service~) I kind of want to die of shame but also feel really valued? depending? and physical touch is a thing I do not get a lot (as a kid -- like, my parents are touchy-ish and we did a lot of hugging and kids curling up on Mom or Dad during a movie or while being read aloud to? but also? not a lot of OTHER physical affection? and I have always been HUNGRILY OBSESSED with physical affection and what is the point when it’s not weird to platonically cuddle your close friends, or casually touch your friends, or not obsessively avoid touching your friends lest it be too weird, and on becoming a) an adult b) a sexual adult how deeply important skin-to-skin contact is to me and how much I crave it ALL THE TIME and can’t ever get enough), but I want it real bad??? and I kind of want ALL OF THESE THINGS! but also I can’t pinpoint one of these things that quiets the screaming klaxon in my head that is always yelling NOBODY LOVES YOU AND NOBODY KNOWS YOU AND NOBODY WANTS TO and what is the thing that will make me feel fulfilled and calm and loved. I don’t know what the One Thing is that makes me feel secure for at least five whole minutes and makes me believe someone when they tell me that they love me and calms that screaming hollow of unlovedness that is always sucking all the air out of my lungs.

and this is why the model, while incredibly useful -- and it seems to lock on to most personality types in a really helpful way -- is lacking, because the more I’ve tongued over it and tried to get the shape and taste of it -- 

my love language is Being Known And Being Seen And Being Chosen. 

that’s not in the roster. which is difficult, but workable, I guess. 

like, I love gifts, because I love trinkets, but -- the times gifts make me feel loved have been -- well, when Corey bought me tickets to the Over the Rhine Christmas show I’ve wanted to go to since I was sixteen, or made me a vampire hunting kit for my birthday, or brought home Nick Cave’s Murder Ballads on vinyl for Valentine’s Day. when my dad got me Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox plushies for Christmas. when I went back to New York for a visit and Gamble had a UFO painting for me she bought off a street vendor who claimed to have “painted it from memory”. when Jessica made me a mixtape of Mountain Goats songs that are actually about Fox Mulder. when Avery scrawled MOTHPEOPLE? in a moleskine and ripped it out and pinned it to my bulletin board. hello, you gave me something that you couldn’t give to anyone but me. you paid attention. you liked the me that exists. on purpose.

I feel loved when someone says, this is important to me so I want to show it to you. or, I want to do this thing; do you want to come with me? when people invite me to things or want to do things with me and share things with me. when something is important to someone and so they want me to know it. even if it’s not my thing, if it’s just their thing, that feeling of: you want me to understand you. me. I want to share this experience with you. quality time is hit and miss (because introvert, because so many of my importantest relationships have been some form of long distance) but “doing this is important to me and I want to share that importance with you”, even if it’s a small thing, a concert, a film, a grove of trees -- 

and the idea of: I paid enough attention to you to know what would be meaningful to you is, even after almost two and a half years of healthy affectionate relationship, basically unfathomable to me? even when it happens? that level of knowing, of choosing to know, is? what? how? why? me? I did an act of service that is only for you. it might not mean anything to anyone else, but I know it’s important to you. that’s love. even if I flinch and say, you shouldn’t. because I want you to. but I feel so embarrassed of my own wanting. 

and, not correlating quite to anything on the traditional list -- I want to know what you think about this (song, film, scientific concept, political statement, sweater, shade of green). I don’t decide yes or no based on you -- I just value your thoughts. (I mean. let’s be fair. astute and intense media analysis is my favourite activity in the world.)

anyway somehow I only consciously put these pieces together recently, hence the Mulling. hence the: I gotta write this out so it starts to make sense. but. I feel loved when you choose me. when you know what’s important to me and you like giving important things back to me. when you want to share what I value. when you want me to share what you value. when you want to make me laugh and mostly just me specifically. when you see me, as invisible as I usually feel I completely am. when you choose me, as unbearable as I believe I am. when you do it again. again. again. till I believe you.

[panickypeachboy]

“Worry no, for me! I-I many strong!”

//I suppose this could be a start of a thank you note for those who been with me. Can’t call this a follow forever because sometimes something goes wrong and then people gotta split paths. So let me at least say my thanks for those who liked the journey of this awkward Momotaro.

And attempts to keep adopting him. Gosh dangit guys.

@giutisu/@acekuratetto: Kay, I think you’re one of the long runners who are well, still around! You’re very friendly to many fandoms, and to folks within the A.ce A.ttorney area! I applaud your spot on portrayal of these nerds, and you’re well liked for that! But personally, I like you for being a neato dweeb. Thank you.

@ultimate-impostxr: It started with a mutual appreciation of each others art, although I feel like I’ve seen your art before doing the dergle ropes rp. But to have a friend who’s kindhearted out of that? Heck yes! I love your portrayal of the U.ltimate I.mposter as a sweet heart, which is accurate to canon. Of course, I do love your own tweaks to what he is, and admittedly it’s much cooler than what actually happened. So thank you for letting me interact with this heartful world of a guy who likes love.

@peachypinksovereign/@crudelisx: Cookie! I hope you’ve been doing well! While we haven’t been speaking much, I still think of your portrayal of Peach a lot. It’s alright to not rp now, as I understand that sentiment too. But hey, I’m totally up for talking about how Peach is a mom to Momo! Also Darkie and Inumi are still buds, and I love her glee over that dog...and g.ore.

@shsl-house-keeper: REE. To me, you’ve role played the first and importantest C.hisa. I mean your fiery depiction of the teacher has impacted the dergle rope rp crack!  But I must repeat that when it comes to sentimental moments, you nailed it. And you’re a really good friend too, may your move be safe! Also let your cheese have all the kids with the spouses she love.

@rikaikokai/@akaikogo: Momma Mako, a person who really puts love into their characterization. Adding details but still being faithful to the original concept. Not much of a question why you’re well loved! I love the rare moments that Juuzou is a good pops, but I really do appreciate the times you supported me. Not taking sides is a good idea, and thank you for keeping many people grounded.

@lumiosecoffeeclub: Came for the whis, stayed for the friendship. Tev, it’s rather admirable you have a loving attitude. I mean I’ve started to take up some of your habits, and it’s been beneficial! You’re always helping others to care for themselves, and your characters are no slouches. Keep being amazing man.

@hopeinreserve: Hajime and Bri are quite delightful. I love the memes Bri brings up man, and the ahoge is a good straightman for all the chaos I’ve seen. He’s a good amount of snark but silly! Thanks for bringing that to the table!

@starshipmario: We don’t talk much, but I think you’re cool beans. You’re very dedicated to the whole shindig about Mario, and personally I think it’s cool. Heck, the fact that several pros like your work means that you’re doing great! May this reboot of yours bring amazing memories!

@wisdomsdownfall: Just wanted to say, hi, and that your au of Z.elda is well thought out. I like reading your headcanons, and the times we had at the academy was nice too! Thanks you and that’s all for now!

@faiita: Your portrayal of Akane is lovely! I like the brash nature, and you do reflect that too. Take it easy, but you know that. You got friends in me, and others!

To that rper I used to know, thank you for affirming that my disability-related headcanons were alright. We may not speak anymore, but that’s up to you. I am sorry about what happened, and I’m working on not repeating that mistake (even if it haunts me). May you have fun rping and other things...and hopefully your situation improves too!

@nocturnalbun & @ @isleomuses: You two are good buds, and I personally think you should get more love from other folks! Especially Bun’s artwork! Your choice of muses and portrayals are good man. Stay classy!

@anemoia-avenoir: I haven't seen many talentswaps...and I guess they can be considered rare. But I think yours is one of the neato-est. N.agisa is sitll N.agisa...but with more love for animals, and that’s still cool. Because sometimes folks prefer critters over humans. Hope to see his development continue to blossom! Also, you’re a cool dude.

@pheraenlion: We don’t have many memories yet, but you’re quite friendly and I look forward to rping with you as you said! ...if you’re okay with doing that. Moomoo and R.oy are fantastic man. 

@demonsandlollipops: I wish you luck on your other blogs! I did enjoy the initial interactions between Momotaro and B.ayonetta! It was a pleasant surprise, and, admittedly it’d be selfish to ask for more. Have fun with 2D!

@patixntia: Bringing a not so well known character to life is awesome. And you have so many good ideas for this Killer Killer protag! You and Glow bring their heroes to life, and mischief! ...looking forward to that mama m.isaki verse.

@roseate-ruruka: Imma supportin’ you man. I’m glad we are bros so thank you. Hang in there, and do what you need to do. Gonna be slipping some ruru’s here and there now~

@fxshionable-mxsks: You are full of ideas, and I hope that others will see them too! Also you make a great duo with Rico. I can’t say “may S.eiko see happier days” because you have despairing plans for her, and that’s fine. Not everyone has a happy ending, but you’re a good friend.

@kyoukokiwigiri: Just gotta say that Lucia is a great meme, and Kiwigiri. Nice to read her antics, and the sporadic conversations we have! ...yes I’m gonna treasure the few moments Kiwi (and Munny) had with Momo. They were adorable.

@furryvolleyball: I don’t know if you’re still around, but well, I hope you’re doing fine wherever you all! Gotta say a BIG thank you for surprising me with that doodle of Momotaro!

And there’s some other peeps I can’t say much about because we haven’t talked much but I am very grateful for anyways. I look forward to making some memories with you guys, if that is okay. You all seem lovely!

@snappshot, @sleepyshsl, @spurioussculptor, @shi-jou, @thebolodojo, @resfebear, @exsspes, @darker-feathers, @despairousel, @shsl-gamer-rper, @moonmonogatari, @pseudxcode, @emissicius, @dancingfordespair, @suyoichan, @resurrectedhylianhero, @destinysengineer, @scholarwarriorfather, @condomglitter, @unfxrtunatelycxrrupted

and to most of my followers and friends. Yes you, who’s reading this. You’re cool bro. Thanks for sticking with me...or just checking in. Checking in with friends is good! Thank you. Take good care of yourself today too!